Posted: 2:15 pm Thursday, August 28th, 2014

Predictions (no lies): Dogs over Clemson 

By Jeff Schultz

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Against the backdrop of a USC player making up a story about jumping out of a window to save his drowning cousin (a Bobby Petrino starter kit), four North Carolina players suspended for undisclosed reasons (oh look, a teammate was beaten senseless. How’d that happen?) and the Heisman Trophy winner shoplifting crab legs because, well, THESE SCHOLARSHIP ATHLETES ARE STARVING!!! ….

Hello. I am back.

You know how this works. Every week, I give you the winners. It’s your job to find them.

winston5

Jameis Winston strikes Heisman pose.

If I went 17-0 every week, it would make it too easy for competing investment services like Charles Schwab, Morgan Stanley and the Cobb County firm of Tim Lee Off-The-Books-And-Back-In-A-Broom-Closet Investments, Catfish, Kickbacks and Such to steal my trade secrets. I’d rather they just make it up as they go along, like USC’s Josh Shaw, who went from super hero to knucklehead in 24 hours. Shaw, who showed up at practice with two sprained ankles, actually injured himself jumping out of somebody’s window. In the old days that wouldn’t have happened because Pete Carroll would’ve been providing the house rent free and he could’ve just used the front door.

Anyway, back to me. I went 141-33-1 straight up last season and 99-71-5 against the line. In short, I’m awesome. But you’re going to find some “losses” here and there to throw off the competition. However, if you mail me $25, I’ll provide you with the Weekend Predictions Codebook so you can tell the “bad” predictions from the real ones.

This week, Georgia opens against Clemson. A lot has changed in Athens, mostly on defense, where coordinator Jeremy Pruitt was brought in to improve a unit that under Todd Grantham too often looked like a fire ant hill that had just been kicked. Pruitt’s players are young and green. That would be an issue if Tajh Boyd and Sammy Watkins were still on campus at Clemson. They’re not.

Georgia controls this game with Todd Gurley, the offensive line and a Aaron Murray’s better-than-average replacement, Hutson Mason.

Game 1. Win 1. Dogs cover 7½

Josh Shaw on the talkshow circuit

* * * THURSDAY WEB-ONLY SPECIAL * * *

Texas A&M at South Carolina: It would’ve been fun to see Steve Spurrier vs. Johnny Manziel. Sort of a meeting of the Narcissist Mutual Admiration Society. Somehow I get the feeling this season is not going to go as well as either one expects, but significantly better for Spurrier in Columbia than party boy in Cleveland. Gamecocks cover 10½.

VALUE MENU

(Buy three games and win a copy of Josh Shaw’s autobiography, “How I Cured Typhoid In A Previous Life With Three Items In My Pantry. Then I Went Swimming.”

Wofford at Georgia Tech: The Jackets have won their first six home openers under Paul Johnson by a combined score 311-65. That happens when you schedule Jacksonville State, Western Carolina, Presbyterian, Elon, the Boys from Fire Hall 17 and leftover bodyparts from a Wes Craven movie. You know, you can’t spell sacrifice without FCS. Tech covers 29½.

Liberty at North Carolina: Fun times at UNC. Four defensive backs have been suspended for “violation of team policy.” Coincidentally, there’s an investigation over an alleged hazing incident that left a walk-on wide receiver with a concussion. Fortunately, tutors write papers for UNC athletes anyway so concussions shouldn’t be an issue. Heels cover 31½.

Oklahoma State at Florida State: Did Winston just misunderstand the concept of a buy-one-get-one-free sale? Seminoles cover 18½.

Jameis cuts left, cuts right!

As always, Tallahassee police are on the case!

Arkansas at Auburn: Coach Gus Malzahn said quarterback Nick Marshall won’t start because of a marijuana arrest but he will play, either right after he finishes that 30-pound bag of Cheetos or if Arkansas takes a lead. Auburn wins but take Arkansas and 20½.

Alabama vs. West Virginia (Georgia Dome): Alabama linebacker Trey DePriest was suspended for a “minor NCAA violation,” which means Nick Saban has to start one of the 57 high school All-Americans he has on the bench. West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen would swim with leeches for just one. Bammy covers 26½.

Miami at Louisville: Bobby Petrino and Todd Grantham say there’s no truth to the report that they already hate each others, and when Petrino and Grantham say something you can take it to the bank, assuming the bank is in Bolivia. Free spiritual cleansings to the first 5,000 fans. Louisville covers 3½.

Louisville brings Petrino back from the Underworld

LSU vs. Wisconsin: Les Miles on which of his two quarterbacks, Anthony Jennings and Brandon Harris, will start: “We’re going to send them both out there. They’ll each stand behind a guard and when we’re ready, one will step behind the center and the other will go in motion.” You know, if it was any other coach, I’d think he was joking. Tigers cover 5.

Georgia Southern at N.C. State: The Eagles have stepped up to FBS. The alphabet jury is still out on N.C. State. Wolfpack wins but take GSU and 21.

Idaho at Florida: Speaking of Georgia Southern, Will Muschamp has this nervous tick he can’t get rid of. Gators cover 36½.

UCLA at Virginia: UCLA is the hip favorite to win the Pacific 12. They’re my hip favorite to faceplant. Bruins win but take Virginia and 21.

Utah State at Tennessee: The Vols are 14-34 in the SEC in the last six years. Butch Jones says he loves their future. Yeah, good marketing strategy. Tennessee covers 6.

Scorecard

winning-nfl-betting

My winnings. Your fantasy.

“If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: The rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time.” — Chinese proverb

Last season (bow to me): 141-33-1 straight up, 99-71-5 against the line.

Sack Schultz time: Enter for a chance to win a $2,500 smoker/grill, Kroger gift cards and iPad and more. Weekly prizes too! Just pick 15 games per week (no point spreads) better than the competition. Go to AJC.com/go/sackschultz2014.

Lilly’s Pick: I would like to retire her because she’s getting obnoxious (where does that come from?) but it seems she has a following. I cheese’d pictures of Uga (left) and a lame stuffed Tiger (right). SHOCKER! Lilly goes right. Clemson wins.

Photographic evidence of Lilly going against her species. (Photo: WP Glamour Shots)

Photographic evidence of Lilly going against her species. (Photo: WP Glamour Shots)

204 comments
DirtyDawg
DirtyDawg

I don't think Zarathusca was 'Spaking' that...another home game like this one and them Gamecocks may change their intro music routine.

RxDawg
RxDawg

I just never understood why everyone was so high on USC.  All I kepth thinking was "well they're the experts".  Yeeeeeeeeh right. P.S.  People also kept underating Kevin Summlin (sp?), that guy can get er done.

Bogan
Bogan

Mr. Schultz, did a tutor write a paper for a UNC athlete, or did the tutor violate rules in editing the bibliography for an athlete's paper?  I'm confused.  The NCAA charges state one thing, but you state something quite different.  Please clarify since I'm sure you do due diligence before you write something. 

LHardingDawg
LHardingDawg

I can guarantee that A&M's win really has got the west worried. There may be a new sheriff in town and it's not in Auburn, Bama, or LSU. I couldn't tell if SC is that bad or if AM is that good. I can just hope that we look more like A&M and less like SC.

RangeRover
RangeRover

SC will be a totally different team when UGA comes to town so the Dawgs had better be ready!  Desperation can bring out the best in a football team...especially at home.

But kudos to SC, Texas A&M, UGA and Clemson for scheduling tough competition right out of the shoot for back to back years, unlike Florida with their routine first two games against high school competition.  How can you be proud of automatic wins?

OH-IO
OH-IO

Musburger was great. Iconic. 


Drooling over Willams Brice was a bit much. 


Jesse needs to shot up once in a while and not explain the obvious. 


OH-IO
OH-IO

SEC LEAST! SEC LEAST!


The Gamecocks area gonna be pissed off when the dogs come to town. 

SinceVince
SinceVince

on the bright side...Texas  A & M is a young team and won in a convincing fashion. In the past UGA has used youth as an excuse.  Our defensive secondary is young and green. Maybe its the coaching huh......

C-Kirk
C-Kirk

Just read there is a 50 to 60% chance of rain between 5:00 PM and 9:00PM. Saturday in Athens. Sure hope that doesn't hold. 

Whiznot
Whiznot

Watching the Gamecocks get destroyed was awesome. I'm now a big Kenny Hill fan. The SEC just got much more interesting. Sphincters are getting very tight in Auburn and Tuskaloosa. Dawgs and lowly reptiles are in the driver's seat and everyone knows reptiles are lousy drivers.

MikeS777
MikeS777

Texas A&M + Kevin Sumlin + the SEC + state of Texas to recruit in = a sleeping giant of a program awakening.

If game 1 is any indication, Sumlin and his system, not Johnny football, is responsible for the success of A&M in the SEC so far.  Not only that, they may have a legit shot at winning the West and the SEC if that defense continues to play as well as they did tonight.

Oh by the way, they have a 5 star guy at QB on the bench and the #1 QB prospect on the way in 2015.  They are out recruiting Texas and dialing in top 10 classes every year.  A&M is going nowhere but up as long as Sumlin is there at least.

LHardingDawg
LHardingDawg

A pretty embarrassing game for Spurrier, the chickens, and the SEC east. I commented to a friend that the SC defensive secondary looked like ours did last year. Hopefully we will have some of that fixed this year.

I'll be at the game this weekend. I'll be the guy in red.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Well ole miss finally pulled away.

Heck it was only 7-6 in 3rd.

GTBob
GTBob

Good call on SC Jeff. The media hype for that trainwreck of a team has ended up being pretty laughable. Good news UGA fans, you have pretty much no competition in the east.

keendaddy
keendaddy

This loss to TA&M, is huge! We must take care of Clemson and then bear down the next week. Hope Pruitt and Bobo got lots of film to study tonight. Loved the way TA&M started out with little flare passes, then when SC adjusted, went deep...

TrueDawg1986
TrueDawg1986

@Bogan  Was it a violation?  Sometimes what is written down as the infraction is guided more by what they know is most easily proved versus what may have really happened (such as the writing of the entire paper)....but the opposite is also true sometimes such that in the end all that matters is...was it an infraction?

TrueDawg1986
TrueDawg1986

@OH-IO  Oh POAD don't you have anything better to do than OBSESS over that FAR SUPERIOR UGA team that haunts your dreams?  Shouldn't you be spending more time with your so-called "friend" who is dying of cancer?  Guess you really have no soul...

FlatTire
FlatTire

Another day of watching Goff beat Overated-Rated St on VHS I see

DawgNole
DawgNole

@RangeRover

Your comment on desperation NAILED IT! Which is EXACTLY why I was hoping SC would win. Plus, their loss takes a lot of the glitter off the UGA-SC matchup--even if both teams win their games before then.

FlatTire
FlatTire

Yea he was probably happy he doesn't have to travel to Ohio anymore. It's not anyone's vacation spot you know

TrueDawg1986
TrueDawg1986

@OH-IO  Not sure how one SEC team beating another is "LEAST" in any way...that's what happens in the REAL conference...good teams actually play one another.  Your GnaTs wouldn't know anything about that but STILL can't manage to beat the FAR SUPERIOR Dawgs...LMAO at your pathetic self.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH-IO

Yup--their loss last night didn't help UGA one bit.

TrueDawg1986
TrueDawg1986

@SinceVince  Try on a few facts there TROLL...The TAMU Offensive line features all Seniors/Juniors except 1 Sophomore...and only two freshman WRs and QB...the rest are upperclassmen.  The TAMU defense only has TWO freshmen and FIVE Seniors/Juniors.  Not exactly a "young team" is it now pretender TROLL? 

SnoopDawg
SnoopDawg

@SinceVince I THINK YOU MAY ON TO SOMETHING THERE, EINSTEIN...


MOST UGA GRADS CAN'T HANDLE THAT TRUTH.

OH-IO
OH-IO

@C-Kirk


What is it with you dogs and weather?


Cold - boo hop


Hot -  boo hop


Rain - boo hoo


I'd love to see you play in sleet and snow.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Texas A & M is the new Texas....hehe

I've already heard the new qb called Kenny Football, by Johnny Football.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Oh my god....you are sooooo funny.

Oh please. Everybody is amazed with your wit. And that "dwag" phrase is just brilliant.

Such mature humor.

And your moniker. You are just the best poster of all time. And to think you bless us all, at all hours, on all blogs. You must be so rich to be able to take so much time to share with us.

And you're so charitable to live with your mother and let her take care of you in her basement.

What a wonderful being. So wonderful , not even human.

We all thank you for making us laugh. Even if it is at you, and not with you.

Get your sleep now.

HotDawg
HotDawg

We'll keep an eye out for ya!

Go Dawgs!

MikeS777
MikeS777

@GTBob Week 1 isn't over yet, Bob, but I have said it quite a number of times.  South Carolina lost a ton off last years team.  I don't know how anyone thought they were just going to cruise on.  Conner Shaw might have been the most underrated QB in CFB.  They lost 3 of 4 starters on the D line and their whole secondary.  They also lost a big target at WR.  Dylan Thompson has had a lot of game experience since Spurrier tends to play 2 QBs a lot.  He just never showed what it took to be better than average.  Conner Shaw was the heart and soul of that offense.

GloryBetweenTheHedges
GloryBetweenTheHedges

I disagree bob, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if we still found a way to lose in Columbia. Plus let's see how Florida turns out.

aarh
aarh

@keendaddy The Clemson game doesn't matter as far as the SEC race is concerned. However, it would be good to win if they want to have a better chance at a national title.

DawginCO
DawginCO

@keendaddy  We can do everything A&M did and we have the best RB in the nation.  Spurrier is going to need to hit the sauce before the game if our defense is even a little bit improved.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Yep. We can knock them out of the race in 2 weeks.

DawgNole
DawgNole

@OH-IO @ThomasBrownUGA

Sure as hell beats his standard long-winded, short-on-facts, insanity-laced, hate-filled posts--which I expect he'll bring back at some point.

TrueDawg1986
TrueDawg1986

@SnoopDawg He's not a UGA grad....he's a TROLL just like you...that has to pretend that he is a Dawg because of deep seated envy and self loathing

Ihateorange
Ihateorange

@HotDawg  Lets make them feel at home - they are referred to as the sheep molesters (that's what Texas has always called them), and Missouri is Misery.

RED DOG 77
RED DOG 77

@HotDawg  HotDawg.....It sounds as though you know Princess-Leia..........Gosh..........er.........a.........I mean he......r.....she? must be the bomb.........really,really,really,really cool..........it makes me nervous just thinking about her......er.....a.....his royal @nus..............You're right HotDawg, I think we are all in awe of the Princess.............What do we do? maybe just bow down?.........Me?...........I think I'll just wait for the next post.............Ahhhh Princess-Leia what a dream-boat

WDE
WDE

@HotDawg any more probation ...oh that's right ...there are....2 more years..how's that working for you Princess ?

MikeS777
MikeS777

@GloryBetweenTheHedges That's confidence for you. lol  UGA will get their test Saturday to see what the team looks like.  The only reason I would be worried is if South Carolina either struggle with East Carolina or loses to them.  UGA doesn't need to play like that game is in the bag.  Regardless of what they do with Clemson, they have to lock in on South Carolina for real, or they might very well get beat.

SinceVince
SinceVince

@aarh.. The Clemson  game does matter though...EVERY GAME matters if you want to reach the playoffs. 

HotDawg
HotDawg

How ya doing RED?

Whatever that princess thing is, it's like vomit on hot pavement on a 100° day.

HotDawg
HotDawg

Wde, they liked it so much, they asked for more.

SnoopDawg
SnoopDawg

@SinceVince @aarh YOU ARE RIGHT ON TARGET TODAY SINCEVINCE!


These guys must have graduated back when the SAT requirement was 600...

TrueDawg1986
TrueDawg1986

@SnoopDawg At least they actually went to college....and don't spend their entire adult lives pretending to be someone they are not because of an OBSESSION with the FAR SUPERIOR UGA program that haunts their dreams.  Keep on hating TROLL...guess we'll see how your GnaTs do this year before getting STOMPED again by the Dawgs.  Then you and Vince can cuddle in the parking lot as usual crying about what "shoulda, coulda, woulda been"....LMAO!